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Jack Jokes
You're a piece of shit, ginormous, fat-ass retard, but enough about Tim, I'm here to roast Jack. * There's only one way to roast Jack; in an oven. * Jack has become so infamous he's now mostly referred to by one name; asshole. * When Jack's parents found out he was a ginger, they tried many things such as hair spray, crystal meth and abortion. * With teeth that bad, if Jack were to chew out someone's ass, they'd be dead. * I wonder if the bus driver has ever missed the flaming pole at the side of the road. * Jack is so boring I'm sure he's one of the few kids even Michael Jackson can stand to resist. * Jack is one of the few people who was dated and dumped by a horse. * Adalia Rose has more balls than Jack, despite their similar diseases. * The feminine form of Jack's name is most likely "cunt". * The one thing Jack and his brother share in common are gay haircuts. * Jack is no longer a virgin; life's already fucked him. * Unlike Bloody Mary, when you say Jack's name out loud three times, you don't get killed; you get AIDS. * If Jack were a candy, he would be a Tootsie Roll; the smelly log of shit very few people like. * The car that best describes Jack's appearance is the Pontiac Aztek. * The last time Jack got a good mark, he forgot to wear sunscreen at the beach. * The most positive thing in Jack's life is HIV. * I hope one day Jack can finally fall into something comfortable, hopefully a coma. * Let's talk about Jack now, it's amazing how Hitler hated the jews so much and he didn't even meet Jack. * In spite of being so ugly, Jack has a big dick, oh wait, that's a typo, I meant to say is a big dick. * Jack likes pushing people's buttons as much as the vending machine's. * Jack went to the Bunny Ranch to get laid, but the only person who got fucked was Keira. * What do Tim and Jack's dick have in common? They're both stuck up assholes. * I've already attacked you enough, let's move on now. * Don't know if you noticed, but Tim got the new leading role in the next Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie, he's playing Leatherface. * He's supposedly an Air Cadet, but I thought the Wizard of Oz was the only person who lets monkeys fly. * Face it, he's about as unwanted as a cold sore on a cock. * People would rather have a Jehovah's Witness covered in dog shit come up to their door than him. * Ever had to work on a project with Tim? I'd rather go quail hunting with Dick Cheney. * Let's move on to Declan now, what's up you short fuck. * When Declan goes on a plane trip, he IS carry on luggage. * His dick's so tiny he has to part his pubes just to piss. * If Declan were someone's bodyguard, I'd ask who guards the top half. * They say the more you smoke the more it stunts your growth, guess we can see what happened to you. * In Declan's driver's license you'll be able to see his feet. * I just hope none of these jokes go over your head, Hobbit. * I'm sorry man, I wanna be friends......bullshit. * What ever happened to that fedora of yours, did Mackenzie eat it? * I'm surprised she never got the role in The Blob. * Also we got Adeeb here, my Muslim brother, he's one of the chosen people, but apparently he didn't choose good looks or talent. * When you think of Adeeb, the first thing to come into my train of thought was a hidden explosive. * That project we did last year was about the least successful video you'll ever appear in, minus your wedding video. * I don't think I missed anyone, except maybe the person wears more makeup than a fire victim. * Good news, fondle three more ballsacs and you become an honorary priest. * I was asked not to talk about appearances, but fuck it. * I'm gonna take a guess here and say your snatch has had more black hands on it than the hood of a cop car. * This is the first time I'm roasting a pig without an apple. * What do you say to a fat, stupid, ugly person who isn't very funny? Hi Mackenzie. * What is the name of the animal that eats more than twice its bodily weight in a day? Mackenzie's dinner. * Mackenzie is the only person I know who can breastfeed themselves. * What's Mackenzie's favourite animal? Apart from anything edible, a guinea pig. * Don't get me wrong, she exercises, she makes a lot of runs to the vending machine. * The only vegetable she liked was in the special needs room. * I don't think Isaac died, I think Mackenzie ate him. * While aboard the flight to Singapore, Mackenzie cost triple the price because she took up three fucking seats. * I'm pretty sure the reason why there was a long lineup was from her getting lodged in the cramped bathroom. * Hell, now you know why they call them "cargo planes". * After eating a pizza, Mackenzie ordered a PS3, not a PlayStation 3, but a "Please Send 3". * Ever seen Mackenzie on the ice? Better question, ever see Mackenzie sitting down? * In the last ten years she's fucked more women than breast cancer. * Mackenzie has movement only because the planet rotates. * Even if she lost 400 pounds, she'd still be unfuckable. * Mackenzie's bi-curious, which means she's curious if she can buy Caitlin's twat. * Keira complains about food being cooked in animal fat. Guess which fucking animal? * I watched the news one time a few years ago and she was on it. When I tried changing the channel, a piece of her ass was still stuck on the screen. * I'm still amazed they found a camera that strong. * Mackenzie loves eating tacos more than eating tacos. * You might have thought you were on top of the world a few times in your life, well Mackenzie feels that every day. * Recently, Singapore became new trading partners with Canada after we traded them an automatic grease machine. * Rumour is they're selling her for a trillion dollars to Mexico. * When she comes back to Canada, she wont be going to Anderson High, it'll be Anderson Low. Or better yet, Anderson Animal Hospital. * Mackenzie is so fat she has two taints. * I've heard she's becoming an actress now. In the next Star Wars movie, she's playing an asteroid. * Last year, I turned 14, my mom turned 34, and Mackenzie turned 1000. * I heard she's actually got a drink named after her at the local bar, it's called Type 6 diabetes. * Unfortunately, she's become a habit of smoking, I heard it was a pack a day. That's 20 cigarettes, one after every meal. * You've probably been Halloweening with Mackenzie before, she's the sidewalk. * Mackenzie suffers from substance abuse, and that substance is calories. * I'm thankful for her existence, that way we would know what it would look like if we took Jack's weight, multiplied it by 200, took Adeeb's brain cells, divided it by 200, took Taylor Rae's whoriness, multiply it by 200, and took the smell of rotten flesh, and multiplied it by 200.